Day 2 of #strala30--exploring my tension

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Where do I keep tension in my body?
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I can tell you it lives my neck, jaws, teeth, upper back, forearms, and hands. And up until recently, it lived in my stomach and intestines. It still comes out in my skin--not just my face, but my chest and back.
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Tension isn't pretty. There have been many times I've totally gritted my teeth through a night of sleep, through any yoga class, or even putting on my clothes every morning. I catch myself grinding and holding onto my breath even driving.
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I learned from an early age that tension was necessary to be accepted. Accepted by my role models, by teachers, by other students. It was nothing for me during my school years having an absolutely packed daily calendar. I wore it like a badge of honor. I was busy; therefore, I was important. Stress was definitely my bestie. I'd blow my top at every little single thing which messed up my sense of control. I wore constant blinders, focusing only on my calendars, meetings, homework, studies, and achievement.
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This illness and healing period is really forcing me to examine where I hold my tension, and if the tension is truly necessary in living my life. I'm having to slow down, resting more than I am moving, and just taking everything day by day, even hour by hour. No longer do I have a long term plan for a month, season, or year.
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I'm focusing on the present. And shifting my focus from the future to the present has eased my tension in considerable ways. I'm focusing more on my breath. I'm saying more prayers. I'm letting it go. And while it feels unnatural right now, it's beginning to feel much...freer. And feeling free is what I crave these days, no matter where my health path takes me. 🌟