Day 25 of #strala30--Retreat

This week, I've noticed when I'm feeling bad physically, I let the barbs people hurl stick into me. Words like "stupid", "rude", "nut case", "not normal" stuck in, along with phrases like "you'll never be able to afford this", "no man will ever pay to care this way for you".
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Yes, these words and phrases hurt me. They did permeate my headspace and affected how I responded in my workplace, at my home, and even to myself in my own self talk.
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I spent time today in retreat. Away from my family, nestled under my blanket, with my journal and pup by my side. I realize these phrases ARE NOT me. They don't describe who I am or what I represent. Those are not my truth. They represent other people's hateful view of life. Not my view of life.
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The girl I was at the beginning of this year would have allowed those views in and it would've drawn me deeper into depression. Deeper into my black hole of self hatred and shame. But now, I've done a lot of work, a lot of praying, and a lot of uncovering my own soul to discover I don't need to go deeper into shame. I release that shame because it really is someone else's.
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Practicing ease is about realizing what views are mine and what views aren't mine. What views I want to allow in, and what views I just need let go. So, in my own personal retreat, I just let those phrases go. Just wrote them down, tore them up, and gave them a good flush. Ease has taught me a way to feel much better emotionally, even if my physical state doesn't change.