The other morning I woke up to some words running through my head....
"Drop the tension."
Woah. Pretty heavy for 5am don't you think? But, my heart wouldn't let this phrase rest (or let me go back to sleep either!). So, I do what I always do when woken up in this way: get up and write.
And boy did my writing just flow out of me. I realized how twisted & tied up I was over multiple things in my life. I didn't even realize I was tense. Tense is unfortunately a natural state for me. It has been for most of my life.
But one place I go where everything melts away is my kitchen.
Now, that doesn't mean I float into the kitchen each time on a puffy cloud of hearts and puppies. I will occasionally bitch & moan about "having" to cook dinner; being too tired to cook, or (my fave), not having "anything" to cook (yes I say this while staring blankly my pantry instead of staring in my closet).
But, when I get started---by pulling out my ingredients; washing veggies; chopping; seasoning; and, pushing play on my @spotify radio--things seem to slow down. Time stops. And I begin my effortless dance around my kitchen celebrating the beauty of creation. The beauty of combining flavors. The beauty of loving myself by preparing nourishing meals for myself. The beauty of the tension release.
Today's fun sauce actually could go on a savory waffle (I'm working on one as I type), but I used it as a topping for a roasted root veggie and lemon rice dish. Turmeric, honey, lemon zest, and lemon juice create a mellifluous mix with one of my absolute favorite ingredients--tahini.
Tension gone from my body. Pride and confidence swells as I whisper to myself, "I created this." For the first time in many nights, I slept soundly all night long. Mission accomplished.
adapted from The Minimalist Baker