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Imagining the Future

8/18/2016

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How does it look when you envision your future?
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Is it super specific, down to the smells and tastes of your experiences? Or is it a montage of general ideas that you want for your life? Or is it something else all together?
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For me, this is very hard. Because when I envision my future, all I see is this image above. No specifics, no general ideas. Just static. Blankness. Nothing.
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And it scares the hell out of me. Each time I sit down to journal or envision my future, and I get the static, it stresses me out even more. How do I even know where I'm going if I don't have a vision propelling me forward?
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So, I shove the fear down. I move onto something else, some other topic. Pretend like it doesn't matter. But, during this phase of my Candida detox/die off (starting day 8 of 90 day diet), I've been nudged to begin envisioning my future.
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I used to joke (or was I serious?), "well when all you'd planned on just suddenly just up and walks away, you decide pretty damn quick your ideas for the future don't matter, so you quit planning for one."
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This is the attitude I've had since the middle of 2013, when the world I'd been building came crashing abruptly down. I stopped dreaming of the future. Since then, I've flown by the seat of my pants...jumping from this job to that, moving to various cities and towns, trying out different lives to see which one "fit". I've almost become a modern day Goldilocks, seeing which job/city/life feels "juuuuuuust right".
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See, I've got this need to be free and need to be grounded at the same time. I don't want to be caged in, but I want to know I've got somewhere/someone to go home to every.single.day. No matter what storms come up. That the town, the city, the person, and myself are in it for the long haul. So I can be the free spirit God created me to be.
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One of the things which holds me back the most is fear. Fear of getting it "wrong"---choosing the wrong place, city/town, person, all of it. Yes, that's human, but it's also a huge FOMO (fear of missing out) which keeps me from committing to anything.
Also, I've got fear of disappointing the people in my life who have a very different vision for my future. They are incredibly specific, and have shared them with me on so many occasions. I can spout them to you right now verbatim. But, even though that's their specific future for me, that future has not ever felt right in my bones. But the fear of not complying with those images leaves me paralyzed, unable to choose any direction. And that's not fair to me at all. I deserve more than indecision. I was built from the stars, I am destined for something HUGE. And I owe it to myself to slowly begin the process of sharpening the blurry images I see.
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Today, I ask you, can you get specific on even one aspect of your vision for the future? Can you sit in that uncomfortableness, that fear of getting it "wrong" and just some idea in your head of the future?
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If it helps, start with one word--the first one which pops into your head--and go with that. What does that word look like to you? What does it feel like? What does it smell like? Taste like? Once you've got some of those ideas down, you've done it! You've begun the process of clearing up the static. Sharpening that otherwise blurry image.
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It's not all or nothing, even one image is enough to keep you going and give you the confidence to know its okay to dream. I know I am....will you share with me what you come up with? I'd love to know!
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  • Blog
  • Meet Brooke
  • Work with me
    • Health Coaching
    • Angel Card Readings
    • Got any other ideas?
  • My Favorite Things
    • Gluten Free Baking Academy
    • Manduka Yoga
    • Thrive Market
    • Danielle LaPorte
    • On My Bookshelf
  • Contact