Reflections of candida, pT 2

So, the progress I'm making is quite slow.
It's almost like I'm a tree being re-rooted and finding a new place to grow.
-
Maybe in a sense I am.
-
While the yeast overgrowth is dying off, which is welcome news for sure,
Seems it's awakened a slumbering virus to come knocking at my door.
-
So, on top of the diet, the new supplements, and teas,
The fatigue I'm dealing with keeps knocking me to my knees.
-
But at least I know a reason, though it sucks for someone at my age,
Why are you so sick Brooke? It's mono, I say in shame.
-
Shame because I'm older
Shame because I feel life is passing me by.
The dreams and visions I wanted just months ago
Just seem so damn far away.
-
"It's the virus" I'm told,
which zaps my zest for life.
The reshifting of my brain and gut chemistry will settle down
And then my dreams will ignite.
-
But, this in between, this not knowing a vision
Honestly leaves me being the woman without a mission.
-
I've always been so driven.
I've always strived towards a goal.
Now it seems my only job
Is to stay awake through the day is all.
-
I know I'm frustrated.
I want it all to end.
Why did this happen to me?
When life keeps rolling for all my friends?
-
Marriages, babies, school, the works.
Sometimes seeing them progressing just hurts.
-
I've shied away from a lot of my friends.
Sometimes it's just been too tough.
To see their lives moving forward
And seeing me stuck in a rut.
-
Yes, I know it's my ego.
I know my path is my own.
I know this is leading me
To the place I will call home.
-
This time is just hard.
I'm uncomfortable here.
Yet, I'm going to keep pressing on,
Despite all of my ever present fears.
-
Things will get better.
My body will start to strengthen.
The yeast balance will be resumed and
My uncertainly will weaken.
-
The virus will once again be dormant,
Not being an old friend.
The hopes and dreams I have for life
Will one day light up and have no end.