One year ago this week, I moved back to my hometown.
I left a beautiful, strong family of friends I'd created for myself.
I left a cool home by the sea.
I left a job offer full of promise, growth, and respect.
Ginger left a sweet, curious little kitty brother (may he Rest In Peace 💕).
But, I'd also accumulated a lot of resentment while I was there. A lot of guilt. A lot of jealousy. A lot of insecurities. A lot of feeling "less than" my friends. A lot of anger. A lot of debt. A lot of frustration. A lot of yucky feelings for sure.
I had all these rules I'd set out for moving back:
*I'll stay with my parents NO MORE than one year, six months preferably.
*I'll have a higher paying job with lots of job security.
*I'll be happier. More free. All will be well.
Basically, I created this image of my hometown being a utopia of sorts. All my problems would disappear and Ginger and I would frolic through tulip fields absolutely carefree.....
Yeah, I know....I'm a such a romantic. 😉
Well, one year later, my life doesn't look at all like the rules I "set" for myself.
*I'm still living at home.
*The job I have in fact pays LESS than what I would have made in my former locale.
*I've been crippled with severe cases of chronic fatigue syndrome, adrenal fatigue, and Epstein Barr virus. Most days I can't even get out of bed, much less be a productive member of my household.
So, no tulip field frolicking going on exactly.....
But, this time hasn't been all doom and gloom either. Per the card I pulled this morning (see my IG profile for more daily readings), I want to focus on what I do have in my life.
*I've been able to rekindle a relationship with my parents.
*I've been able to ask for help and actually receive it.
*I've been able to find a job where long term growth is truly possible and (hopefully) probable.
*My parents' dog finally has warmed up to me!
*I've been able to write and reignited my passion to create (hello blog world!)
*I've been able to pay my bills.
*I've been able to pay for the healing foods which nourish me.
*I've been able to sleep and begin healing myself.
*One thing I've done is dream again and envision things for my future, something I've not done in over 4 years! And that has been truly magical. 💫
So, it's your turn. What uproots have you dealt with this year? How have you learned and grown? What have you done this year you've not done in a while. Leave me a comment and let's chat!!