Today has been a day of rest, something which usually doesn't happen on a Sunday. In fact, I'm typically working all day at my place of employment. So, this is a beautiful gift.
With this rest, it's given me so much time to really think...listen....and process.
And with all this thinking, I get super duper hungry. And tired. Which makes me want to just sleep and eat while thinking. Quite the conundrum huh?
I present the fuel I needed to get me through this day of thoughts.
Well, what am I thinking about you may ask?
Hahaha...a lot. I'm always thinking of stuff. It's kinda part of my DNA. I can hear an ol' country song being written---"I come from a long line of.....overthinkers....?!?!?"
Well, maybe not.
I'll have to come up with another award winning songwriting idea. Add that to my "things to think about" list.
But, the reason for my thinking today has a lot to do with the current inner work I'm doing.
I'm deep in the midst of transformation. I'm sifting through a lot of my inner stories, thoughts, and patterns to see if they still ring true. Here's the quick response--they don't. But, as I've been peeling these gunky layers back, I've come up against so much resistance to letting go of these stories. I've seen myself still wanting to stay small, even though my heart's desires are expanding. I've seen myself sabotage my efforts to step outside of my normal routines. I've been dealing with a lot of fear...so much so I've had to sit down and invite fear to eat breakfast with me.
Luckily, this day wasn't really fear I invited to breakfast, it centered around my truth.
Real talk time. I've held onto---no, I've straight clung---to this narrative of unworthiness and incapability in my life. I'm pretty sure I really began to form this narrative in my youth, when I was made to feel incapable of making any decision for myself AND unworthy of having exactly what I desired.
I felt incapacitated to do anything but succeed in school. If I tried sports, I'd tell myself I sucked. I'd end up getting hurt, or getting my glasses broken; then, I'd quit. If I was in dance class, I told myself I wasn't as good as everyone else; so, I practically begged to be in the back for every number. These activities were constantly changing, so I had to work extra hard to prove my incapacity....aka by overthinking and self sabotage.
School was where I knew exactly what would go down--homework, quizzes, tests. There were no real curve balls to have to try & predict. I'd just go in and get shit done.
Except for geometry. That class was so hard.
I have spent so much of my life trying to control every outcome under this narrative of unworthiness & incapability. It's been exhausting. I can see how this narrative has weaved its way into my adult life too with broken relationships; extreme financial distress; career switching; and, severe health problems.
And, dismantling what took 37 years to build up isn't going to happen overnight. In fact, this process of uncovering my truth has been over 5 plus years. For the past two years though, it feels like the revelations are coming much faster. The stakes are getting higher. I'm on the verge of a major breakthrough. I can feel it. And these feelings are making me want to expand and contract at the same time. Kinda like being hungry & sleepy during all this processing work.....it can be overwhelming!
Funny how things come full circle so quick. And how I eat a lot of waffles to get me through these times. I need grounding. I need comfort. I need time to sit & think....and eat. Scarfing waffles down doesn't really feel good; nor do I suggest it. I'm glad I have something to linger over. It helps me comfort myself as I'm moving into these huge releases.
Like this letter:
"Dear unworthiness, thank you for keeping me safe all this time. You've let me navigate through life with a sense of not claiming all of my special & unique gifts. You let me just move through pieces & parts of my life instead of letting me dive deep into my soul. Because you didn't want me to know my own soul. You wanted me to trust you and no one else.
Your best friend, incapability, has led me through some dark ass times; and all the while, you were there whispering to me how all of this struggle was my fate. You gave me a place to land when things fell apart--because you knew they would. Now, you want to keep me stuck here in this limbo place. You want me in this "should I or should I not" place because you are powerful here. This is where you shine. This is where you keep me hidden. This is where I admit I'm scared and you run to comfort me with your "I told you so's & you'll never achieve any more."
I'll admit, I've found solace in this. Each puzzle piece which has happened in my life all points to these themes--I am unworthy of success and I am incapable of success.
But, buddy, these stories have got to get the fuck out.
I've observed you for years playing games with me. I've watched from afar and felt a lot of these feelings--fear, anger, frustration, hatred, confusion, heartbreak, sadness, depression, and anxiety. These are feelings you love because I don't grow in that place.
But, I've started to see another life. I'm envisioning the future. I'm meeting my future self--over Waffles of course-- and we are excited about possibilities. I am grateful for this present place of release AND I'm grateful for where I've been, and for where I'm going. Yes, I'm struggling with a decision. I'm standing on the edge of a mountain not knowing what's there when I jump. I'm choosing between your constant state of stagnation AND my expansive future. I am terrified, shaking like a leaf, and wanting to curl up in a ball. Which I've done today--a lot of in fact.
You're probably gonna try woo me back into your arms more than a time or two. You don't just walk away. But, I'm slowly starting to chart my own path while leaving you astray."
Sometimes, you gotta have days to think and to process. You've got to put your heart in your hands. You need to see what no longer resonates, and craft you up a newer plan.
And a new plan of mine is to begin to bring coffee back into my life. I've gone without it for over a year now, as I've been struggling with my health, my hormones, and my digestive system. But, as I've gotten stronger, I've noticed a desire to have coffee again. I've slowly begun to try again with caffeine. And what better way to bring it in with a waffle? Seriously...the combo of almond and coffee and chocolate gets me every time. It makes me feel like super woman---perfect for processing and releasing the old; and, welcoming and expanding the new.
What do you do when you're in a processing state?
Also, if you make these waffles, tag me with #whiskingoutsidethebox
I'd love to see what you create!
I have woken up every morning this week with bone crushing fear. On Tuesday, it was so bad I could barely breathe. It's why I decided to "lay my heart bare", the #Truthbomb I posted from Danielle LaPorte.
Energetically, I've had this particular week pegged as amazing for a lot of reasons.
First, I got the chance to reconnect with my best friend in the whole wide world, Madeline. Even though it can be months (or in one case a little over a year), each time we reconnect, it's like like no time as passed. My life feels much more complete when we hang out because we share everything and leave space for one another to sort it out. I have a renewed sense of purpose and connection to myself after we talk. Kinda like everything will be okay.
Second, I met the amazing Heather Crosby from Yumuniverse and Gluten Free Baking Academy in Asheville to celebrate the release of her second cookbook, Pantry to Plate. I've been excited about this for months! Heather and I have chatted on IG, FB, and through email....so it was so nice to put a face to a name (and snag a picture of us too)! I'll have an interview with her and giveaway very soon...so stay tuned.
Lastly, I made the decision to begin sharing more of myself--in pictures, especially. For a while, you didn't see my face. You only read my words. I didn't want to be seen. I just wanted to pour my heart all over the page. And I did...and that's been super cool...but somehow it just felt awkward and impersonal. So, here I am, sharing myself and my heart.
But, with all of this energetic awesomeness, comes the bad---well, maybe I should say interesting. So today, when I woke up and felt fear creep in...I did something different. I invited fear to breakfast.
Uh, what Brooke? Inviting fear to breakfast?
Yeah, I can see your faces from across the screen--part shock, part questioning, heck maybe even you're rolling your eyes and mouthing crazy.
I get it. It was foreign to me too. Until I heard a meditation on Tuesday and it suggested to invite fear inside. It even said instead of merely shutting down with fear (which I admit I do quicker than anything), ask fear questions. See what the chat will reveal. Hence my breakfast idea.
I love getting fancy with my waffles, but you know, sometimes only simple will do. Especially when you're gripped in fear and can barely move. This recipe used simple flavors to create delicious results. Banana. Maple syrup. Ground ginger. The "trio of comfort" as I'd like to dub it today gave me comfort while tackling a rather uncomfy situation.
Now, I know you're all wondering how fear showed up for breakfast. I mean, I made her a plate and all. It's what a good host does. But, she came in rather abruptly, as fear tends to do, but sat rather still during our chat.
Turns out, there were things we needed to discuss. The first thing she brought up was to be recognized and acknowledged. She wanted me to merely see her and not run away. She was here to give me a message, not send me to shut down mode.
The other thing she gave me advice for was to breathe. Not sure where I heard this, but fear is excitement without breath. She said I hadn't been breathing deep at all, and I needed to calm down and give these exciting things some breath. It would free up some space in my chest and give me some space to decipher my own thoughts.
Lastly, she gave me permission. Yeah, fear gave me permission. Permission to feel all these feelings. I'm doing things in my life which are totally different from my usual responses. I'm moving outside of my comfort zone. I'm looking at things in a new way. I'm listening to how I feel instead of just gut reacting to things. And it's uncomfortable. I'm stepping out and owning my power. And it is different. So it's normal for me to be scared and fearful. I'm training new empowerment muscles. And it feels good and scary at the same time. But that means my new way of doing things is working.
Somehow I bet I'm not the only person dealing with fear right now. A lot of y'all are doing some majorly brave shit. And I'm in awe of you. But, if you are fearful and don't know exactly why, try inviting fear to breakfast. Or coffee. Or heck, just to come to meet you at your journal. Be kind with yourself. Ask good questions. And if all else fails, make her some waffles. I bet that'll win fear over....you think?
Stories have always been an integral part of my life. And when I say stories, I mean the ones you find in a book or through a the spoken word.
Though I don't remember it, my parents told me I was so obsessed with stories as a wee young tot, when I used to sneak off behind a chair to look at pics and do my business if you know what I mean ;)
And as a kid, I remember my mom telling us stories & reading us so many books. Weekly trips to the library were so joyous. She even recorded tapes for us which we'd listen to when we went off to visit our grandmother.
And one story in particular sticks out in my mind. In fact, it was many stories. About Cookie Bars.
Yes, Cookie Bars. I'm capitalizing those words for a reason because Cookie Bars was a person....errr cookie bar.
But, Cookie Bars went to many places in his life. The library. The fire station. The doctor. The swimming pool. At my age, his adventures made him a worldly guy. She would tell us these stories to soothe us; to calm us if we were anxious (hello doctor or dentist time!); and, to make us laugh. It worked every time.
I loved these stories. They helped me to create my own stories when I began really reading to my stuffed animals & writing in my many journals. They also encouraged me to keep reading stories....and continue the tradition of creation in ANY form.
So, this recipe is more than just an homage to Cookie Bars. It's an homage to my mom herself.
And how fitting for Mother's Day.
These cookie bar waffles are totally grown up from what I ate as a kid. What makes them grown up? The addition of sweet & spicy crystallized ginger pieces into the batter.
What did I eat as a kid? Anything with chocolate. Chocolate chips, chocolate candies, chocolate ice cream....but no ginger. It just wasn't in my diet plan of chocolate, ketchup, chicken nuggets, and macaroni & cheese.
Good thing I've grown up. Because this was just damn good.
I made these waffles into a sandwich because sometimes you just want a sandwich made out of waffles. I mean, who wouldn't? Sandwiched between these two luscious layers is almond butter which made this sammie even more decadent.
I also have eaten these as regular waffles, drizzled with yogurt & maple syrup. Either way is equally delicious in their own right. I'm sure you'll come up with something equally as cool.
Because that's what story making and story telling is all about. It's about creating what works for you and sparks your curiosity or soothes your anxiety. It's about creating memories. Its about experiencing emotions. It's about celebrating what grabs you and doesn't let you go.
Thanks Mom. For your light. For your laughter. For your love. For your creativity. For Cookie Bars. Because he was pretty cool. Now, if you'll excuse me, let me go search for that tape. I need some story time before I go to bed.
adapted from Simple Mills
I feel like each week bring about so many new revelations.
But, I also feel with each new lesson and revelation I've experienced, I've also held myself back.
Does that make sense?
For each growing moment I've had, I tend to overthink myself into holding back and not stepping into my full power....as a woman, as an empowered woman....heck, let's take a step back even further....as simply me.
So on these weeks where I feel like I'm walking the border between two "states" of being---empowered & holding back (Side note: At Carowinds, you can walk the line between North and South Carolina...and it's so cool!), it's easy to feel like I can't take care of myself....it's easy to say I won't eat healthy....it's easy to not post a waffle recipe.
But, then when have I ever taken the easy way out?
Okay okay, I'll admit I did have help with this recipe. I played with a Simple Mills mix.
A gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do to get things done.
For this experiment, which turned out amazing, I wanted to recreate some cornbread. And by recreating cornbread, I mean creating a recipe not using corn.
Because that sounds like a totally normal thing to do when making cornbread, right?
Like Rihanna sings, "Baby, this is what you came for."
Why no corn B?
Well, see I've had an intolerance to corn since 2015. Maybe because I ALOT of corn for the years prior to my 2015 food intolerance test. And by a lot of corn, I mean like bags of tortilla chips, taco shells, grits, polenta, hominy, and even corn in my cereal. And I ate cereal every freaking day.
Yeah, I had so much of a corn cereal problem, I had cases of that cereal shipped where I lived in SC. Not kidding. My old roomie will tell you the truth...she laughed every month it was delivered to our door.
Maybe that's why the sheer look of the box turns my stomach. I kinda overdid it. Good thing I have so many varieties of waffles to create...
How did I get the color? Turmeric. And turmeric's taste was undetectable to me (I hadn't really used turmeric until this year...I was put off by the smell), so if you're wigged out by the smell, don't be. Now, I eat it on almost everything...kinda makes me wonder why I freaked out for so many years about this spice. Hmmmm, maybe I should apply how I feel about turmeric now to how things in my life.
I topped this amazing ness with a blackberry jam I created from this post.
Since then, I've made it savory with scrambled eggs, black beans, guacamole, and salsa. I've also topped them tahini and cranberries.
I can go on and on...but then I'd spoil your own topping fun.
I'd love to see what you post, so share your posts using #whiskingoutsidethebox
adapted from Simple Mills
Happy Sunday! I've dubbed this week unofficially "strawberry week". We got the most beautiful, flavorful, and aromatic strawberries at a roadside stand last Saturday. Since then, it's been all strawberries all the time.
I've added strawberries to all kinds of meals--rice & beans, roasted potatoes, roasted veggies, even tacos. Yes, even tacos.
But, oh my stars...they made amazing waffles....such amazing waffles.
Well, I've got another strawberry one for ya here....strawberry kombucha.
Kombucha. My new favorite beverage. Have you tried it? The wonderfully vinegary, fermented, flavored drink full of bubbles, live bacteria, and microscopic yeast.
Doesn't that description just sound appetizing? ;)
Well, years ago, I'd have quickly turned up my nose at even the thought of kombucha....and grabbed a Diet Coke with some Snackwell's instead.
So glad I've matured....at least in a few foodie ways.
This was the first time I'd actually used a 1 for 1 gluten free flour blend, one which is brand new on the market. I was pleasantly surprised at both the flavor and the texture of the blend. It was very much like regular flour! I'd honestly avoided these gluten free blends for many years. I'd heard too many cooking horror stories about the flavor and texture being "off". But, I was pleasantly surprised. It's opened up a new world for me recipe wise.
A world I'll be sharing with you very very soon. I'll keep this one short and sweet...so much quicker to get to these fabulous strawberry-rific waffles.
What's your favorite strawberry recipe? Do you have a recipe you'd like me to either remake (to become either gluten or grain free) or to create in general? Leave me a comment and let me know what kind of waffles you'd like to see!!
So, you didn't think I was only gonna post once this week did you?? I know, I know, a post on Wednesday didn't happen and I'm sincerely sorry. I hate disappointing anyone, especially myself. And I let myself down. I'll do better these coming weeks. For both of our sakes.
I am working on some exciting things though (building up my recipes, and I've even got a few new things in the works). I can't wait to share with you what I got!
So do you think you can forgive me with this waffle I concocted?
Because, I totally forgive myself for this deliciousness.
So, now that we've moved past all of this...Happy Cinco do Mayo y'all! Know why we celebrate this particular day? Well, it's the celebration of the Mexican victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla back in 1862. It was an unlikely victory for sure.
There is some controversy as to whether it's an American created holiday or if it's an import from Mexico. Either way, it's a great time of year to celebrate spring, rebirth, renewal....and of course tacos and margaritas. I mean, what's not to love, right?
But, seriously, it is a celebration of a victory in any case. And celebrate whatever you'd like--the ending of a hard winter, the beginning of a new season of life, a movement in the right direction--anything.
And for me, this is definitely a celebration of the end...and the beginning. Yes, winter was a hard season physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I'm happy the cold weather is gone (for most days anyways....it'll be 49 degrees here tonight...brrr!). It's also a celebration of bringing on new opportunities...new chances to be authentically me...new ways for me to shine.
For so long, I've lived in the shadows, doing what everyone else says is good for me. In fact, listening to everyone else WAS my default pattern. I didn't ever check anything with myself...I just methodically did as I was told. And that scenario made me super miserable. No longer do I want to bring that misery in my life anymore.
I still have my moments of lapsing back into feeling others know better than I do when it comes to my future choices; but, now I'm celebrating cross checking other people's ideas with my own soul. I am learning to feel others ideas in my body...and assess whether it's truly right for me. I am feeling into whether the choices before me feel expansive in my rib cage or whether they make me contract into myself and curl up into a ball.
And curling up into a ball, rolling around like a roly poly is not a good look for a 37 year old. Not all the time anyway. ;)
Now that I've placed quite an image into your head, let's talk about waffles. Yes, these waffles.
Fresh strawberries, lime juice & zest, coconut milk....the only thing I missed was the tequila. But, that's only because we didn't have any in the house--horrific I know, especially on today of all days. I totally know tequila would've gone over quite well....and if you have some, by all means...celebrate away!!
If you don't have fresh strawberries, thawed frozen ones will work as well.
Let's celebrate shall we?? To new beginnings....to standing up for myself....and to feeling expansion in my chest. And to chowing down on these waffles. Enjoy!
This week has been trying. From Ginger's up all night party attitude (see last post for what's going on with her), to my own illness/doctors appointments/hospital trip....it's been long, exhausting, and just emotional.
Enter my need for comfort. Enter my need for warmth. Enter my need for Pumpkin Almond Waffles...my go to soul food.
Now this is exactly what my body needs. These waffles and a good night's sleep. Well, wait....did I tell you? Last night, Ginger slept!! In a bed--not her own bed, my bed, but hey I'll take it. And she slept All.Night.Long. Cue Lionel Richie please.....you're welcome for getting that song stuck in your head ;)
Seriously can we celebrate for a second....I got a full night's sleep!!!! I'm praying tonight will go just as well. I feel like I've been living in a real life version of Goldilocks & the Three Bears. We've tried sleeping on three different couches and two different beds in order to find the one which is juuuuust right. Fingers crossed this bed is the winner. I'll keep y'all updated for sure. In Ginger's world, it is always an adventure :)
As for my medical world, well, that's always an adventure too. So, for the past two weeks, I've been splitting my time at my day job in two different places. I'm working my usual job and learning a new one, to fill in while some people take upcoming vacations. Well, I was so excited when I was asked to learn this new job. I'm always down for learning & increasing my own skills, especially when it's something I truly love to do.
However, from the first time I walked into that department, my body (and my universe) really began acting funny. And by funny, I mean allergic and malfunctioning. By the time I left from my first day training, I was in a full blown allergy attack--sneezing, watery eyes, and itchy ears. And before I even got into work on that day, my car--my super reliable, always running, old faithful--did not start??? Yeah, I just felt it was a fluke, so I just kept on doing my thing.
By day two's end, my eyes were almost swollen shut. Okay, definitely NOT a fluke. Something was going on...but I didn't want to see it (no pun intended).
Enter this week and more training in the different department. First day, I experienced the same swollen eyes which plagued me the week previous. For my second day; however, things got a bit more serious. I woke up the morning after my second day in that department unable to get a deep breath. It was so scary. As I've alluded to before, I've experienced debilitating panic attacks, and I would get short of breath during those attacks; but, this time felt so different. I knew it was different.
Luckily, I had a doctor's appointment the same morning; and, as soon as I got there, I was sent to the hospital for a chest X-ray and all kinds of allergy & breathing tests. I hadn't experienced any of that before, so I was scared....but what was interesting was I felt more scared to have to tell my bosses I was having health issues and might not be able to fulfill the duties they wanted me to.
Enter my people pleasing nature which has clouded all my life, career, and personal decisions. In fact, pleasing others has even overruled the relationship I have had with myself.
Yeah, that's a heavy realization for me to admit. I can't believe I actually said it out loud. But, the only way to change how I've been living is to bring light to it and learn a new way at the same time. And encourage my moving through this discomfort of changing my ways by eating waffles....tons and tons of waffles.
And a little comfort food (done in moderation of course) is good for the soul. It's good for the psyche. And heck, let's just admit, comfort food, in the form of these waffles, is just good.
But enough about these waffles (for now), let's move back to people pleasing. Because so many of us do it. The actions we take may look different, but the end result is the same--we don't want to disappoint someone else. And I certainly don't like disappointing anyone. Especially my parents; and in this case, especially my boss.
But, as I took multiple breathing tests, chest X-rays, and blood draws this week, I asked myself was the fear of telling someone "no" really worth THIS much? Was it really worth having my health compromised THIS much? And, how many times have I compromised my health in smaller, more subtle ways which have brought me to this moment?
Too many to count. And despite all the evidence I could point to, I still debated about my decision.
So, as I walked out of the hospital, my plastic bracelet still adorning my wrist, I was petrified to tell my boss. But, I also knew until I began standing up for me, I'd continue to repeat these people pleasing situations, albeit in different forms. And the next time I could see that pattern, things might not work out quite as well as they have this time. My decision now was clear.
And by clear, I still had to talk it over with a few coworkers to get their perspective, even their permission, to move forward with telling my boss. And when he got there, I told him. And you know? It was awkward. My voice was shaky and timid. My delivery was quite childlike. But, I did it. The longer I spoke, my voice became more "adult". I spoke clearer. My voice got louder. The tone I used came back down to my normal range. I spoke from my heart, sharing my fear of disappointing him and then having him be mad at me.
And he understood. In fact, he was super concerned WHY I didn't come to him when I first started having physical reactions. And he thanked me for telling him the truth. I mean, who knew telling the truth would feel so good? I'm used to creating elaborate stories, blaming others, and always running around stressed trying to remember what I'd told people. And when I spoke my truth, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was removed from the department which was causing so many physical problems. Which was exactly what my heart & soul needed--even if it wasn't what my ego exactly wanted.
Now, I ask you:
Are you a people pleaser?
Are you sacrificing yourself for someone else?
And is it starting to affect your health?
What do you really want to do?
Is your truth in alignment with your current actions?
If yes, great!
If no, then how can you realign to yourself & put yourself first?
Even if your voice shakes, and is high pitched.....maybe even kid like, speak up. The mere act of speaking up begins to raise your confidence; helps you stand in your truth; and, allows the chance for a genuine connection between you and the other person.
And each time you make these waffles, you get the chance to remember that moment where you stood up for you. Now THAT moment is always worth celebrating.
adapted from Nutrition Stripped
So, I've had an issue these past few weeks with my eldest dog, Ginger.
The issue? Seems she's gotten her days and nights messed up. She's a wonderful angel during the day, snuggly & sweet. But, when the lights go out, she turns into a panting, pacing, crazed 11 pound devil. Seriously. Have you tried to sleep with panting going on in your room? Even with a fan and a pillow on my head, it's like the sound which won't go away. Ever.
Now, before I get questions...I know I know I should've totally crated her as a young pup...but I didn't. I allowed her to sleep in my bed from day 1. My bad. She was so cute I couldn't stand it. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a wet nose, wiggly butt, and sweet puppy snuggles.
Last night, as I was listening to Ginger pant for what felt like the 100th plus hour, I thought a lot about hidden messages. There aren't coincidences in this life. Things are happening for us...they are here to teach us about ourselves and what needs to be healed.
All that thought got me asking myself--what is Ginger's panting teaching me??
Why do dogs pant? Well, they pant if they're hot or excited or scared. It's their way to cool the body. How does that relate to me? Well, there used to a time in my 20's when I was up all night too. Scared. Panicking. Heart racing. Light headed. Unable to calm down.
Yep, I suffered from debilitating panic attacks. So debilitating I've been to the ER more than a few times thinking I was dying. I even had a panic attack during a date....and let me tell you, fainting is NOT the best way to make a first impression.
After a lot of talking therapy, my panic attacks all were brought on by feeling life was closing in on me. On the outside, it looked like I was a successful, bright 22 year old who was ready to graduate college & embark on life. But, on the inside, I felt the walls were closing in on me. I felt my life was already decided for me; and, there was no room for my own soul to speak.
Could Ginger be claustrophobic like I was during that time in my life? Is she just delivering a message for me right now? Hmmmmmm really Universe??? Orrrrr is this me being delirious at 3am????
One thing I did come up with during my 3am listening sessions was the idea of these savory waffles. I have been craving sundried tomatoes like nobody's business recently. Adding in olives, dried basil, cream cheese, and vegan Parmesan made me realize I had a winner. The texture is reminiscent of a yummy cream cheese biscuit I used to eat years ago before my gluten free life.
But, would anyone actually want to eat savory waffles? Oh yeah, I think they totally will. I know I did. I ate the whole batch in less than one day...oops.
Sometimes good things do come out of those late night, unable to sleep moments.
As for deciphering the hidden messages from my panting dog, I do feel she's a mirror for me. There is an area of my life where I am feeling boxed in. I've been working through a lot of hurt, wounds, and old stories. And I've hit one major area where there's a block. It's an area where I've felt stuck for many years. And I'm feeling all kinds of fear moving through this boulder.....obstacle.....avalanche of emotions.
I just hate Ging had to deal with this as my messenger. I wished I would have been awake enough to see it during the daytime. But, sometimes we've got to be shaken awake (literally in my case) in order to see what's up.
Next time you've been shaken awake, make these waffles. They're sure to shed some light on how to move forward....I know they did for me.
adapted from Edible Perspective
I had a trusted sister friend call me a fighter and a scrapper the other day.
She suggested deep down in my heart, if I didn't have anything to fight for, I was lost.
And those words just grabbed a hold of my soul & didn't let go. I initially denied this. I told her I didn't feel like it was me at all. But, those words replay in my head daily. Heck, I've even dreamed about the conversation we had.
Know why? I didn't want to admit this; but, she was right.
I've been feeling very disconnected lately. From myself. From my heart. From my blog. From my friends. From everything
I'm sure there are many reasons for this--my chronic fatigue; the recent appearance of severe allergies; financial woes; my swirling mind, etc. etc. One other reason I couldn't quite put my finger on until my friend gave me that puzzle piece? Because I'm not fighting for anything.
Or am I?
I've always thought fighting had to be hard. Like punching, kicking, and screaming my way out of the corner every time. In fact, I've lived a lot of my life in that way. And burned my body out in the process.
There's a quote out there somewhere saying sometimes fighting isn't so abrasive....it may just be getting up each day & trying again. Well, just getting up and trying has become my mantra...
And while it's great for me in regards to my chronic fatigue (somedays just getting up IS a victory for the day); in regards to my blog/career/life purpose, this mantra leaves me feeling very very uncreative and uninspired.
Maybe fighting though doesn't have to be super violent or energy draining to get the job done.
Maybe fighting is just using the tools you're given to make a statement which inspires, motivates, and propels you forward. Perhaps it's just a realignment of your perspective to create both internal and external change.
And I've got some shifting to do.
While the shifting can take place in many many places in my life, I'm focusing here on the blog. To reignite my game. To reignite my love for creating waffles. To reignite my brain and engage my heart.
So, what exactly am I fighting for while using this platform?
With this blog, I'm fighting to show people cooking in the kitchen can be fun. I'm fighting to show people food doesn't have to be boring to be healthy. I'm showing people what is possible by giving themselves permission to live outside of the boundaries they've placed on themselves. I'm fighting to put fun back into the kitchen and bring your creative dreams to light. I want you to throw diet rules out the window....and fight for the right to hear your body outside of restriction and punishment and deprivation. I want you to hear your own heart beat and listen to what it tells you. I'm fighting for you to come alive. To live beyond fear. To embrace the present moment. To empower yourself to shed the old stories and step into your own life.
See, I've spent a lot of my life searching for a key. One key to unlock the door to everything--happiness, prosperity, love, peace, etc. I always thought, "When I get xyz, then I'll have made it". This was with just about everything in my life--a home, a boyfriend, a job, a fitness regime, a diet, a friend, a raise, a promotion, etc. etc.
The cycle never ended and was exhausting. Each thing I encountered, I would literally ask, "Are you the one? Are you it for me?"
Wow, what a shit ton of pressure I put on myself & on the "thing" I was hunting for in my life. No wonder most of it (*cough* ALL of it *cough*) fell apart. I placed so much pressure on myself and others things naturally crumbled under this gigantic weight. Even me.
So, I gotta get back to the basics. I've made things so complicated I've forgotten my original fight. There is no key. There is no one thing to "save" me. It's the choices I make everyday which lead me to where I'm going.
I am a fighter. I'm wondering, are you a fighter too? What are you fighting for--for yourself, for your business, for your life? Take time to think about your original reasons for fighting, especially if you feel lost. I bet it will rekindle the fire you totally thought was snuffed out.
Because thinking about my original why gave me the spark I needed to step into the kitchen and create these gorgeous hemp waffles.
Yep, hemp. I've been teased for being a hippie/granola and I'm fully embracing it with these waffles. Because they are freaking delicious and healthy. Yes, you can have both of those things at the same time.
And for those who've not yet experimented with hemp, this isn't the stuff which will get you high. I get a lot of questions about that during my day job, so I'm busting this myth now. These are just the seeds of goodness--full of essential fatty acids our body needs to function at its optimal level. Think assisting with heart, brain, and immune system health. They do have a very unique & nutty taste, so flavor your batter accordingly (in this case, I used a whole tablespoon of vanilla extract to mellow out the nuttiness to appeal to my never been exposed to hemp before family). And they all loved it! The smell, the texture, the crunch...they are hemp believers now! My job then for this post is done.
Remember--it's totally cool to be a fighter (because we all are in one way or another); but, not everything has to be a true physical grudge match. Sometimes it really is just reminding yourself of your why....realigning with that why...and moving from that place of realignment.
Let me ask you---where are you moving from these days? Are you aligned with your original idea? Or do you need to remind yourself why you began...and then try again?
Keep going fighter. I believe in you.
adapted from Manitoba Harvest
You know what I've been really obsessing over lately?
Quotes. Well, not all the quotes. Just one.
"Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"
Danielle LaPorte spoke such truth with that statement.
And it's got me thinking big time who I was. Who I used to be. What I used to love. And what needs to come back into my life.
Like these waffles.
See, I used to love zucchini bread. In fact, it was one of the only ways I would ingest veggies when I was younger. I mean what's not to love--butter, walnuts, oil, and more butter. Those green veggies...meh....they were just a side benefit lol
However, the times have changed quite dramatically. My cherry coke obsession has switched to kombucha. My daily Cheetos fix have been replaced by carrot sticks. And gluten, well it's been out of my life for a few years. But, just because life has thrown me curve balls, doesn't mean that I can't have my zucchini bread anymore.
Because I totally can. And so can you.
Going even deeper, who were you before the world started telling you who to be?
I'll start. I was a dreamer. A girl who loved her books and travelled to different worlds each & everyday. My faves? Sweet Valley High & The Babysitter's Club....with some Nancy Drew mixed in. I'd lay in the hammock each summer just napping, reading, and dreaming. Dreaming of traveling the world. Of eating a French macaroon in France. Of standing at the top of the Grand Canyon. Seeing the Space Needle in Seattle. And visiting the ski slopes in Vancouver. And being a girl growing up in the prairie making our own breads, butters, and cakes. Then the world told me being a dreamer was wrong. Being a dreamer didn't pay the bills. So, I stopped.
I also wrote. A lot. In journals. In slam books. In quote books. I felt freedom writing my thoughts down. I felt freedoms realizing new insights. And then the world told me I wasn't a good writer. Writing didn't pay the bills either, so I needed to be smart and not do something so artsy.
Yeah the world told me to be realistic. It kept me hiding for so long. Playing small. And now it's time to step out of hiding.
How? By doing those things I love. By writing (hi there!). By reading again (send me any suggestions please!). Celebrating the fun hobbies of my youth. Celebrating the fun hobbies in my life now. Celebrating all parts of me--the parts which got hated on; the parts which have been loved on; the parts which I've hated on; and, the parts I've loved on.
One way it all culminates these days: And by making celebratory waffles. Lots and lots of waffles. Won't you pull up a chair & join in?
adapted from The Roasted Root